Muse once sang this, but I'm too much of a girl to have heard their original first. I know the song via Michael Bublé. From 2005.
Pretty romantic stuff back then, and now still I guess, Bublé doesn't get old. And what this post is about is finding romance and feeling good about it, no matter who sings about it.
It's shortly past Valentine's Day and although it's a society-dictated, probably flower-and-chocolate-shop-invented pseudo-traditional holiday, I'm one of the lucky ones to have a guy who - by the end of the day at least - brought a nice colorful bunch of flowers home. He's not the most romantic guy, but he's my guy.
We've been through quite some rough patches in the past. First getting together in 2009 and me moving in with him a year and a half later. Everything seemed perfect. We went on a big holiday to Italy, hit all the romantic spots in Verona, Lake Garda, Lake Como and finally Venice, but the romantic air kinda seemed to have passed us by. We fought over the tiniest things because we wanted different things out of the holiday. I'm more the explorer type of girl: city weekends, beach promenades and activities are my best friends on a vacation. And although we found out tat we both like hiking, my guy was more the "Let's relax at the beach for today" kinda guy.
Ok fine, I didn't pack books for nothing on that trip, but THE WHOLE DAY? No. I wanted adventure while we're in this beautiful country where there's so much to discover.
Turns out, that was exactly the problem at that time: our age gap of 6 years left him already knowing much more about what he actually wanted in life (aka a family and a purpose-ful occupation), whereas silly little me of then-23 years and in the middle of a bachelor's degree still had loads to figure out. And possibly some other adventures to get out of my system alone. Ahem.
What I want to talk about in this post though - and I'm gonna try to relate every post of this blog to the topic - is the more or less fortunate events that led to us getting back together. Especially since it's Valentine's Day and I'm thankful for having him.
My lovebird and I had a not-so-lovey-dovey ending in 2011. And although I ended it due to feel crushed by him and having lost myself along the way, I could have been much more civil to him. I shut him out, not wanting anything to do with him anymore. And although I felt genuinely happy for some month or two, my body had already taken its toll way before.
I had experienced a rare condition of a swollen throat cyst. A literal lump in my throat. One that looked almost like an Adam's apple and hurt on touch. Methaphorically, my heart probably did the same a while after, so that even tough I went to several doctors and all my family and friends' support, I felt like nobody could understand me and help me like the one person I had made a point of separating from.
In a particularly desperate move, I sent an e-mail to him with a cry for help. Whatever made him actually jump over his shadow or if I had not ruined all ties yet with my actions in the past, I never knew. But he called and we talked. We met up and we talked some more. And the physical connection had apparently not been lost between us yet. Although the next months of on-off happenings were nice when they happened, but made me so uncertain that he was wary to try again (well deserved, I guess).
When I had the chance to go to England for a teaching job, he recommended I go, to not regret not going later. (We had been in a similar situation before where I had let a chance to live in Italy for a year pass by me.) But going away also meant separation again. Long distance is neither of our strengths. We need physical contact. Hugs. Kisses. Closeness.
At least there's Skype to not lose touch completely. And to arrange a visit in the Easter holidays. Which felt like all the other "on" times and therefore like old times.
When back in Germany, it took some more thinking on both sides, another Christmas came and went. And then came the talk that changed us back for good: "I still love you." "I love you, too." "Wouldn't it be sad not to try if it would work again?"
So, with a break of 2 years we're now in our 7-year itch. And getting married. Seems to be going in the right direction and following one tune that followed us since the beginning: Jack Johnson's "Better together".
